Adrenals.

Today has been a bit of an ass hat. I was going to post this tomorrow, shooting for an every three days sorta thing, but since my own adrenals are extra crispy right now (Dr. P refers to my left one as a flat tire) I thought I'd just go for it.

Let's talk adrenal glands. Truly, this is one of my all time favorite soapboxes to stand on.

Mostly because it was an incredibly hard earned lesson back from my days in the throws of social services administration.

So. Your adrenal glands are these nifty little thumb sized bits sitting on the top of each kidney, like so:

They are there to assist you in your survival. As in: LOOK A BIG SNAKE AT MY FEET! And all of the sudden you're on the other side of the road 400 feet away from said snake with no recollection how you got there.

They do this by creating a cocktail of cortisol, adrenaline, testosterone and some other fancy chemicals and hormones (for our very simplistic purposes, I'm going to totally miseducate you and just call it adrenaline) and pumping it into your system. When the "adrenaline" hits you, senses are heightened and reaction times are increased. You become momentarily super human. Not really, but you get the point I think.

After the snake is escaped and your system is flooded with "adrenaline" it takes about 45 minutes for the body to chill out again. Note: if you're having a fight with someone the same flooding can happen and it might not be a bad idea to take a 45 minute break before attempting a rational conversation.

What's supposed to happen is these adrenal glands then recharge and fill back up with all that handy "adrenaline."

There in lies the rub.

If you are stressed by work, by your kid, by too much coffee coursing through your veins, by an alarmist environment where everything feels like an emergency, then the little guys don't really get a chance to fully recharge because they blow their load again and again at every little thing. They start out helping you cope with stress by putting out "adrenaline" at a 100%.  But while the are recharging something comes up and maybe they only get to 80% the next time they have to do their thing. Or maybe they only recharge to 5% and then you're trying to cope with all of your stress on only 5% of the expected output form your adrenal glands. (These numbers are totally made up metaphors I have no idea how these things are measured).

So then they are firing off at a perceived survival emergency with only 5% because they aren't getting the chance to recharge to 100%.  Basically, our animal bodies are not that smart. They haven't caught up with the fact that every little interruption from our cell phones and our boss and our kids is not necessarily something to jump up and pay life-or-death attention to. Clearly, adrenal fatigue is one way our bodies struggle with our society and modern day realities. Social workers, I'm talking to you.

Side note ladies: If your adrenals are overly enthusiastic they can pile on the testosterone as well. Which is not to say you then become the Hulk. But testosterone has a fancy way of turning into estrogen and then you go from having an excess of testosterone to an excess of estrogen. Which, to my understanding, is one of those danger zone precursors to various illnesses including some forms of cancer.

You might be wondering, "How do I know if I've got tired adrenal glands?" I find this list of symptoms to be accurate for myself and others in my life who have reported the same:

-Every little damn thing is stressing you out.
-When you do get stressed it feels big and loud and hard.
-You tremble easily in response to stress.
-Shallow rapid breathing.
-Teariness.

Your body is going to give you other signs too. But in my opinion, if you do internet heresay research on this you come back with a list of symptoms that can be rooted in a lot of things and generally means your body is over stressed and not getting enough of a lot of different kinds of support. For a long list of ways to worry, I like these folks.

The adrenal glands are gate keepers of a sort. When you blow them out your body starts coming up with creative ways to cope with stress, like gaining weight, losing sleep and taxing other organs. So it's in your best interest to take good care of them.

The care and feeding of your adrenal glands:

"I think my adrenals are pretty okay, thanks anyway." If this is you, then I suggest just staying on top of your excellent sleeping habits, clearly you meditate, so keep that up. And you have some kind of fantastic diet providing you all the nutrients happy healthy adrenal glands need. Also you don't drink coffee, so good for you!

"Hey, yeah. I think I could use a little something, I'm not coping with stress the best these days and they might be getting pooped. And there's no way in hell I'm giving up coffee ever, so just shut up about that already." If this is you, then you and I have a lot in common. We both need to reduce the stimulants, like sugar and caffeine. We need to move our bodies more every day. We need to stay on top of healthy sleeping behavior (Oh MAN, now I have to write one on sleep, great). We should keep rescue remedy on hand and take a supplement dedicated to helping those adrenal glands recharge and we should take it every day religiously. Possibly multiple times a day. I like this one. But I'm not a naturopath or nutritionist and haven't done a lot of research, it's just what works for me. Well, that is until I blow them so far out they need more help than daily maintenance. See: snarky comment from the naturopath mentioned at the start of this post.

"I have debilitating stress. Not entirely sure how I'm getting through the day." If this is you, get thee to a therapist, an MD and a naturopath or a nutritionist or a acupuncturist and stop looking for solutions in some random lady's ramblings about her opinions. But if you want an immediate aid while you are waiting for you appointments, I suggest bovine based adrenal support. It's not a solution. And depending on how fatigued your adrenal glands are it might not make a dent. But, hell, it's something to try and we've all been there when just trying something else feels better than nothing.

Well, that's my Adrenal Gland Soap Box. Thanks for listening and don't forget to thank your adrenal glands.



image credits: Woman standing on soapbox in IWW demonstration, Labadie Collection, Mayo Clinic