Grace.

This is really more of a heart/head based post more lalala less adrenal glandy. Possibly even a touch of spirituality in there. You've been warned.

Grace is one of those words that gets thrown around a bit during hard times. By some anyway. Mostly it's a theological word calling on divine assistance. Some tie it to beauty and elegance in form or manner. That last one is actually in the dictionary. I think of grace as a kind of elegance in our ability to cope with hard things.

Personally, I see it as a three legged stool. The three legged stool of grace? Yeah, sure. Why not? Clearly it's a simplistic metaphor, but she's mine and I love her.  There's lots of three legged stool metaphors out there. You should really consider building your own, it's fun!

image credit: some other not very good blog that probably got it from clip art.

I suppose the point here is that I believe we can rest in grace, on grace, and we all carry something like this around with us to rest on as needed. I've noticed, for it to last with out too much wobble, or a full blown ass landing, three things need to be in place for me personally.

TANGENT: when looking for a three legged stool image I liked I came across this:

image credit: www.larsonallen.com 

and this

image credit: I CAN'T FIND WHERE I GOT IT!!!

Which has me totally wondering if I can figure out how to get a milking metaphor going. I mean, did you know this was a thing? I don't milk anything, ever. I wasn't really sure why one would have a three legged stool to begin with when four legged ones work so well. And clearly these are working stools, not resting stools, so I may have really chosen a poor metaphor here. But I'm not sure what we would be milking exactly when we rest our butts on our grace stool, I mean it calls to mind all sorts of unfortunate images involving utters. I'm not quite sure I can stretch it that far but I wish I could. So milking stools. There ya go.

Back to just sitting on a three legged stool. Obviously, all three legs are equally important.

Gratitude for the Past

I'm not suggesting we relish pain and periods of intense strife. That we carry it around and celebrate the Hard that has happened. What I'm suggesting is a little more subtle than that.

-Is there something that has happened that I wish had not and I'm dwelling on it?
-Have I sat with this experience long enough to find a lesson in it that I can work with moving forward?
-If so, do I need to revisit that lesson and reconnect with it?

Or sometimes, maybe I just need to do a review of what has been going right lately and say thank you to the universe or myself or my mom or whoever.



Accept the Present
Simply put don't fight reality. Is there something happening that I wish were not happening right now? Yes? Well, guess what. Here it is. Happening. Doesn't mean I don't get to be scared, in fact I may feel very very scared. It doesn't mean I can't change what is happening (like leave the room if someone is yelling at you). But looking a hard thing in the face and saying,"You shouldn't be happening" isn't going to change anything. Sometimes, I say "Okay" as in "Okay, here you are, now what?"


Trust in the Future
I SUCK AT THIS. By far it is my weakest leg these days. I think it happens at a certain age. When you have to start thinking about IRAs and long and short-term disability insurance. We are a worried society and the easiest part of the time line to worry about is everything that hasn't happened yet. Really, the check in here is:


-Am I time traveling in my head and going to some possible scenario in the future and worrying about it?
-Am I certain this scenario going to happen?
-Am I taking steps in the present to help alleviate my fear of this possible outcome?

But mostly, it's just a moment of self-talk,"You've done what you can do Aurora, you take care of you and let life take care of itself."




Basically, if I'm struggling, aching and generally anxious or unhappy as hell that means that at least one of these three legs is not in working order. It's just what happens in our human skin with these human brains in this over-worked, over-taxed, over-stimulated society. For me, the stool is an assessment tool for determining where maybe my perspective needs a little maintenance. And frankly sometimes I don't have it in me to do maintenance. Sometimes it's enough to just say "Well it looks like I'm borrowing trouble from a future that isn't here yet today." Or "I'm hurting, I'm scared, I'm fighting what's happening today."

So, that's my stool. It's not a key to the meaning of life or anything, it just makes living in my skin a little easier. And let's me rest when I've been walking a long path.