Personally, I find a fast way to feel crazy is to look around at other people (like my sister, or the legislature) and the choices they are making and think either or both of the following:
"They shouldn't do that."
"They should do this."
Now I'm not advocating complacency in the face of injustice. I am saying wearing judgey pants is living in other people's business and not necessarily the best use of my time and energy. But it gets even better. I get extra neurotic when I get in the habit of shoulding all over myself.
"I should..." (and I'm not)
"I shouldn't..." (and I am)
It's a basic kindness we can do ourselves when we catch ourselves in the act of holding some one to standards that just aren't happening right now in reality. There's a difference between these two kinds of self talk:
A) I should floss.
B) Flossing is a good idea, I used to do it. I think I'm going to try again.
Do you see it? A is rooted in what's not happening and a super great gateway for feeling crap about yourself. B is much nicer and more supportive and might actually get you the outcome you're looking for.
Let's try it again:
A) My dad shouldn't be so friggin bossy and such a crap communicator when he's stressed. (Hi Papa!)
B) Oooh, he's being bossy and frustrating me. I wish that weren't happening right now.
I'm not saying go throw a switch and start doing B instead of A. I am however suggesting you notice when your thoughts fall in the A category and then try to revise to a B. It's just one small sanity inducing way to be kind to yourself and to others and can help you get a little space from an emotional reaction before it happens or even after it has happened for that matter.
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